1000 web dates an in-the-trenches view of dating and relationships today

Attracting Attention with Your Online Dating Profile

After dating more than 500 different people over the space of four years, I’ve seen my fair share of online dating profiles. On top of that, I’ve had, literally, thousands of responses from the online dating profiles I’ve posted on various Net dating sites.

All of this first-hand research has made me a bit of an expert in the subject of creating a profile that catches the eye of potential suitors. I know what has worked for me, and what has worked for others to get my attention. Also, I’ve spoken with countless friends, dates and chatters on this subject, to get their opinion on the matter as well.

Four themes emerged from the discussions; four simple things that every online dater can do to ensure more responses. And with more responses, comes more dates.

Online Dating Profile Tip #1: Post an Eye-Catching Picture
The most effective way to get responses from your online dating profile is post a picture. Not just any picture will do, either. It has to be a clear, crisp shot of you doing something a tad out of the ordinary, or looking somehow different from the rest of the crowd. Let’s be honest here! You’ve got a lot of competition online, and only a couple of seconds to attract someone’s attention. The more unusual and outrageous your picture is, the better.

Over the years I’ve spoken many times with friends about my dates, or profiles that have caught my attention. Many times I don’t even use people’s names anymore, because I could meet five “John’s” in a month, and trying to explain who is who confuses everyone. Instead, I create handles like “Alligator Wrestler”, and “Urban Spelunker”. These names have usually come from their profile pictures. I’m sure you can just imagine what kinds of photos were used to earn these titles!

The point is that you want something memorable as your first introduction. Since I don’t have any ‘memorable’ pictures of me to use, I chose a picture of me that resembles a celebrity as my main profile shot. Many people do a double take, and then feel compelled to contact me and say, “Hey, you look a lot like Kristie Alley!” Things usually progress from there.

Online Dating Profile Tip #2: Create a Powerful Opening Line
Before you can determine what is powerful, though, you should take a peek and see what your counterparts are using. Just maybe your favorite line from ‘that’ song is being used by every other Net dating user right now. Or maybe you see a theme that you want to avoid completely. Checking out the competition never hurts, but in this case, it’s crucial. Once you’ve done your research, you can start creating an opening line. Again, being unusual here is a plus. The more obscure, the better! You want potential dates to read what you say, and think, “What? I have to learn more,” and then contact you to ask for more details. Coy, provocative, flirty and outrageous all work here – use them freely.

One of the best responses I ever received from an opening line was a reference to an article I read about a “Masturbate-a-thon” fundraiser for cancer research. Of course, not everyone will want to use something so blatantly suggestive in their profile. But it worked for me, even though I became inundated with a lot of people looking for something a bit different than what I wanted.

Online Dating Profile Tip #3: Keep It Simple
For years I was well-known for my long-winded profile pieces that did a great job of explain the 5 W’s of, well, me. It took quite a while to realize that few people actually read all of my prose, and if they did, they rarely remembered it while chatting and getting to know me. Now, my profiles are short, to the point, open and honest. I leave readers wanting more, and so should you. It’s another great way to get that, “Wow, that wasn’t a lot, I want to know more about that person!” reaction.

Online Dating Profile Tip #4: Be Honest
This may sound very basic – but it isn’t. If one of the generic questions on a profile asks you about your stance on politics, having children, or sex – answer it truthfully. People will search out others using these terms, and not answering – or being dishonest – only hinders your online search.

The honesty principle also includes pictures, too. If your best eye-catching photo isn’t recent, use it, but make it clear somewhere how old it is, and how you may have changed since then. And don’t forget to include more recent, clear photos of yourself elsewhere.

Although it may seem a bit creepy, your goal is to describe yourself so well that someone walking down the street will recognize you from your online profile. I’ve had this happen to me more than a dozen times in almost four years. Even though it was a bit uncomfortable at times when it did happen, I know at least that I have been honest in how I present myself.