1000 web dates an in-the-trenches view of dating and relationships today

New Online Dating Safety Concerns

I've met people using online dating sites of one sort or another for well over a decade - even before web dating was popular. (Think BBS. Yes, I was a proud modem-er in my early 20's!) Throughout the thousands of people I met, I never, ever had a scary situation on my hands.

Well, if you don't count the guy who tied me up without my consent the second time he met me - but I digress.

Just last week officers from a small town in Ontario, Canada, issued a release stating:

"In light of disturbing trends ... police would like to remind the public of the potential dangers when meeting an Internet acquaintance face to face."

and,

"Police would like to ensure that when using such services, both women and men remain vigilant with respect to personal safety." [quoted from Police Warn About Perils of Online Dating, CTV.ca]

You may well react in the same way I did - by asking why.

It seems that there have been a string of nasty incidents in Ontario of late with Internet predators; the kind of predators that bilk online daters out of their money and greatly reduce their feelings of safety.

For instance, late last year a 36-year old man called the "Online Cassanova" by local media was sentenced to three years for stealing $150,000 from thirteen women after meeting them on the free dating site PlentyOfFish.

Just last week another man was arrested for assaulting a woman he found hanging out with another man - a man who was at her house when the now-convicted 42-year old unexpectedly showed up at the lady's place of residence.

But the advisory quoted above came from a completely different incident: one where a young female was sexually assaulted in her vehicle after a date with a man she met online.

My intentions are not to trivialize the incidents mentioned here. In fact, they scare me. Internet dating has changed dramatically over the past decade. I used to be called derogatory names for meeting people through online means, such as geek, nerd or my personal favorite: she has a nice personality.

Now? My middle name is Stupid if I meet someone without backup.

To mitigate these kinds of issues, you probably already know what to do. Don't meet in private places, tell a friend where you are going, make a quick call from the restroom to let someone know how it's going, have a backup plan in place, and never - ever - get in their car. Still, it's hard not to break these 'rules' when you're in the heat of the moment.

I know I sure have - in the past.