1000 web dates an in-the-trenches view of dating and relationships today

30Apr/086

Does He Like Me?

At one point in time, he did. It all started with My Favorite Date, and we even dated for a few short weeks before I had to leave town. It was magical and amazing when it happened, and I still kick myself for leaving when I did. More than a year later we reunited, but things had changed. Something was missing he said, even though he readily admits he was in the midst of falling for me when we first met.

At one point in time we lived across the country from each other, but several years have passed and now our homes lie mere meters from one another.

We've both dated since; he countless other women (my head swims a bit trying to keep track of each one), whereas I had one fellow who broke my heart once and for all after years of back-and-forth withdrawals, and one young gal whose relationship with me was exceptionally short lived. I was willing to end everything with everyone for him, whereas two of the women he dated he chose to pursue instead of dating me again.

He's since admitted to me that he can be stupid to verifiably ridiculous proportions, and that sometimes he thinks with the wrong head.

Strangely, none of that matters to me. I still get twitterpated when I see him. He came over for a visit tonight.

There is undeniable chemistry between us still, and conversations flow like good wine, varying from the mundane to the risque and back again. We are both currently single and dateless.

Although we shared nothing more than great conversation this evening, it felt very much like the time spent during our first few encounters. Was it a date? Does he like me? Again? More?

I feel silly and childish to admit: I'm afraid to ask.

Filed under: dating motivation, dating questions, ones who got away 6 Comments
17Apr/080

Feast of Love

After my diatribe the other day, I decided it was time to watch an uplifting move about love and romance. Funny thing is, there aren't a lot of films that fall into this category, unless you count romantic comedies. Which probably would have been right up my alley if I could find one I haven't watched.

So instead I tried Feast of Love, a recommendation from a friend. I had no idea what the movie was about, although I knew there were some big names in the cast. An amazing cook who creates a feast to find love? No, that was Catherine Zeta-Jones in No Reservations. Hm. Well why don't I just watch it already and find out.

Turns out I was pleasantly surprised, although it wasn't as feel-good as I'd hoped.

Harry Stevenson (played by Morgan Freeman) starts off Feast of Love with,

There is a story about the Greek Gods; they were bored so they invented human beings, but they were still bored so they invented love, then they weren't bored any longer. So they decided to try love for themselves. And finally, they invented laughter, so they could stand it.

Which in a way is a bit deceiving. I believed Freeman's character was some sort of God in the film. Well, perhaps he was. It's one of those movies that leaves you with more questions than answers, but not in a frustrating or bad way. More of a hopeful, endearing way that leaves you a bit breathless.

I digress, as per usual. Feast of Love is a bit like Run Lola Run (one of my favorite movies of all time) in the way the story is told, showing different characters' love lives throughout the film. I'm sure it's not the technical term for this kind of story crafting, but I call it the "spiderweb" technique. At first you have no idea how or where the writer is going to take you, or how the characters will all relate to one another, but you know they will eventually. And in Feast of Love, they do. Spectacularly.

Because of this, it is difficult to explain the film in any sort of coherent manner. Several characters weave themselves into each other's lives through love lost and found, each one searching for their own relationship Utopia. Everyone is very human in the film, at times making the same mistakes over and over again because they just haven't learned what they needed to in order to find compatibility. And Feast of Love really gets into the dark crevices of love and all of its permutations: young lovers madly and passionately head over heels for one another, infidelities that become more meaningful than sex, lifelong partnerships that endure horrors no one should have to bear, and the naivety that comes with seeking love with our eyes closed to anyone but ourselves.

Although I shed more than a few tears during the film, I also recognized a lot of myself in some of the characters. The passionate adulteress with an unhealthy obsession, the insular straight gal who finds herself smitten by a woman, for starters. And the feelings that resonated were even more compelling: the actual physical ZING when you realize the person you're faced with has somehow touched your soul and seen you bare, the empty heaviness that comes around when someone you loves has passes on, and the red-heated fury that passes over your eyes when witnessing abuse.

Feast of Love was exactly what I needed to see to remain hopeful that love is a cycle, and my turn to appreciate it first hand is only mired by a bit of time, and I'm impatient.

Filed under: date ideas, date movies No Comments
14Apr/081

Giving Up Looking for Love To Find Love

Note: this blog post isn't for the faint of heart. I use very unladylike language and describe things that are probably better left unsaid. Consider yourself forewarned.

Every few years I decide I'm going to stop looking for love, because whatever comes my way when I do isn't what I really want. Interestingly, as soon as I give up, give in, and stop looking for love - I find it in the most unexpected of places. Now I might not actually fall in love with someone, but I will love them with all of my heart. Or, as my saga favorite first date diddy went, I feel like I'm falling in love, but never quite get there because the timing is off. (Yes, I'll write the conclusion one of these days. Promise.)

Lately I find myself in that space again. The one where I am so exasperated with the dating scene and people in general that I can't be bothered looking for love or anything else along the same lines. I choose to see only the shitshow relationships that surround me, wondering how on earth people with no integrity can actually find a partner, and then realize that what they have isn't something I want in my life anyway. I choose to feel sorry for myself that I can't find that elusive click. A person attached to a wicked smile that sends my heart aflutter. A snuggle partner. I choose bitterness over being attractive to others, and a scowl folds over my face more often than anything else.

Still, I try. Even though I know damn well that when I'm the only person attending my personal pity party, I suck. Huge. I'm miserable to be around. I struggle to see the positive, and looking for love is like bashing my head against a concrete floor: it hurts and there's no point.

My version of trying this time around only consisted of checking emails over at OkCupid, my favorite free dating hangout for some time now, although it - like most dating sites - are losing their luster to me. Ok, ok, I'm still addicted to taking the never-ending swarm of test on OkCupid, but I haven't met someone off it for almost two years now.

I log in anyway, interested to see how my recent quiz scores match up with the locals. But before I can check anything, someone IM's me. Oh? What have we here? I immediately accept, excited. A bit too excited in retrospect, considering my frame of mind.

It only takes me a few keystrokes to realize the gent at the other end of the chat is looking for sex and not much else, but is doing a good job trying to hide it. He plays a lot of the "who me?" kind of games. You know the ones. The guys who pretend they are innocent as an infant just to find out they have some oddball fetish that even alt.com hasn't got listed. I'm all for sexual deviances, but really now. Do I really need to know that you masturbate with lettuce?

Anyway. He asks me if I'll look at his cam so he can "dance". I'm thinking, ok... maybe, just maybe, he'll be an upstanding citizen. Maybe he'll have most of his clothes on. Maybe he'll dance a dorky little move, trying to make me laugh. Maybe him telling me I'm "shy" for not wanting to see him on cam is really a communication error and not a line shamelessly stolen from Neil Strauss', The Game. Maybe.

Unfortunately, Mr. Jackass (not his real name) came out stripping right from the get-go. A suggestion that perhaps I'd rather get to know the man behind the penis led me to being removed from his chat list. Ah well. He fulfilled my pixelated penis picture quota for the month.

Do I sound bitter? Angry? Jaded? I realize it's a hideous combination for a 30-something woman. A stereotype at best. Here's to hoping I get right pissed off looking for love this week so I can give up once and for all. Then, and only then, will I find what I'm looking for.

Filed under: dating motivation 1 Comment
   

About 1000 Web Dates

This site chronicles my personal dating stories. I'll share the juicy details of how I met my dates, what happened on said dates, how I dealt with breakups, and what I did to find (and keep) the partnership I've always sought. This dating blog is rated NC-17 with occasional blips into more adult territory.

Sponsors

Free Sample Sexual Soul Mates Reading for two



Shop for sexy lingerie at Henry and June

Sex Toys as Low as $2.95

Love Scent Pheromones

Tags

Recent Posts

Categories

Fav Dating Blogs

Dating Resources

Meta