Once in a while I like to read my own tarot cards. I picked up a deck a number of years ago, and when I feel the urge, I sit down and do a reading. Last night I read my cards for the first time in months.

I used a new four-card spread that I’ve never used before, found in a tarot card reading book. Its basic intent is to read the situation, obstacle, action recommended and outcome of a specific situation. I thought it would be interesting to do a reading about the guy I’m still in love with (according to my friends). What the hell, right?

I should add that every single piece of advice I’ve been given on the subject - both from friends and random blog commenters - has been to be direct with the guy. Let him know how I feel. Take the reigns and stop living in wait. Which I know is what I need to do, but I’m a gutless coward about these kinds of things. Whatever happened to men pursuing? Well with this guy, I’ve always known I’d have to be the pursuer. It’s just the way he’s wired.

So I wasn’t shocked when my first card (situation) told me that I either needed to, or was meditating about a problem. I wasn’t acting, I was thinking, and it was the right course of action. Take some time to rest and relax, contemplate and meditate. Spend some time alone and don’t make any decisions.

Yup, that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing.

My next card (obstacle) told me - literally - to stop worrying, and that everything was great. I have a bright future ahead of me. Think positively.

I was a bit stunned after that card.

The next card (action required) blew me away. I’ll just quote exactly what is written on the card. “Be bold. Unleash your adventurous side! Take risks and be daring.”

I ended the reading (outcome) with a card that said by following the tarot card’s guidance, I would be unleashing my inner goddess.

If that isn’t a smack in the arse, I don’t know what is.

The Behinder (so named by a friend because he lives behind me) and I have tentative plans this weekend to watch a movie at my place.