I’ve noticed a theme in the past couple of years in my dating life. I meet someone, its intense and lovely, and things are humming along nicely for a month or two. Then I’m suddenly sideswiped by The Talk: he’s met someone else and its already in full swing. When I ask what happened between us, I’m given a similar answer by each: something is missing. I don’t know what it is. Sorry I hurt you. You deserve better.

Sometimes these betrayals have stung longer than they should have, but most I just look back at with gratitude. Meaning: I’m very thankful that I found out early on what kind of men they were. And frankly, of the men who intimated something was missing, only one touched my heart.

But this theme makes me wonder. Is saying, “It’s not you, it’s me?” just a cop-out now? Does it really mean diddly squat? Is it just the easy way out? Or is there sort of dating deal breaker I’m sporting that only becomes readily apparent around the six week mark? One that is so elusive and/or fear-inducing, that it instills an immediate cease and desist.