So the Farmer lives about 1.5hrs South of me (I think), but he doesn’t see that as a stumbling block to dating. I thought to myself, if he doesn’t think its that big a deal, why should I? So we chat. Still. Often. Usually twice a day.

I was curious as to what he wanted to get out of our MSN-based interactions, because most men I’ve talked to online seem to want to meet right away. Which has always been fine by me, because I’m not a fan of chatting forever, falling in love online and THEN meeting face to face. Nah, too many expectations. I’d rather get the whole picture as soon as possible, and I’d much rather have my relationships exist in flesh and bloody goodness.

The Farmer, on the other hand, would much rather chat and get to know each other at length before meeting. His reasoning? (You already know, c’mon now… its always a dating disaster story). A psycho first date with a woman who basically started stalking him afterwards. She didn’t even post a picture of herself online, but rather someone else. (Her sister? Roommate? I can’t remember).

Curious, I ask more about the Farmer’s dating experiences. He seems to have a fairly dark view of meeting women online (understandably), and rarely find people he even finds remotely interesting. Lucky me, I passed the first few tests.

And then he drops The Whopper For Which I Was Not Prepared: he isn’t fond of dating. In fact, his last two “relationships” were friends with benefits situations that lasted a “long long time”.

I fumbled around for words after his admission, and ended up signing off earlier than normal to think a bit.

I hate friends with benefits. Truly hate it. Boots to those who can make it work without hurt feelings, but I have yet to see or experience a ’successful’ FWB first-hand. And if it isn’t already obvious, I’m sore on the subject because I’ve been made a friend with benefits a few times without being told.

Here’s what bugs me: FWB is basically a cop-out to avoid actual intimacy with another human being. Something is being filled (literally!) but the actual joy of intercourse is being thrown out the window completely. Its the same reason why I don’t enjoy sex doggy-style; I cannot connect with my partner. What irks me even more are the men who have FWB relationships exclusively. They are essentially emotionally unavailable (as opposed to emotionally distant), and that’s definitely NOT what I am looking for.

So do I keep on talking to this guy, knowing he’s already told me what I need to know?