1000 web dates an in-the-trenches view of dating and relationships today

First Date of 2009

After I did my run-down just before New Years' about my 2008 dating life, I decided it was time to change a couple of things. Namely, I needed to meet more people, go out on more dates, and have fun again. Not necessarily in that order, and 'fun' didn't necessarily mean sex. Just... well, fun. The kind of playfulness that attracted my favorite people in the first place; a playfulness I feel like I've lost and need to play some serious hide and seek to get back in my life.

So I worked hard to set a time and place with The Mechanic, a man I've been chatting with for well over six months but haven't been able to meet. When I asked him why that was, he said that my canceling once at the last minute made him think I was trying to blow him off. I assured him it wasn't, so we moved forward from there. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to make the next four dates I'd suggested, and I got the feeling he was trying to pursue things with someone else, so I laid low and didn't bother. Until now.

I suggested several different date times and places, but each one he already had things to do. It came out that my hunch was true; there was a gal pursuing him that lived 4hrs away and was in town visiting for the holidays, and although he assured me he wasn't interested in a long distance thing, he'd still planned to go out with her while she was here. Exasperated, I threw out one final idea. Surprisingly, he accepted. Friday it was, at a local coffee shop.

As the week passed however, he contacted me via MSN to say that he'd thrown out his back and was in massive pain, unsure if he could keep our date. He'd text me beforehand to let me know what happened. Since I'd already planned to be at the coffee shop anyway, I went with a good book and whittled some time away. Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to show up, I got a text message telling me he was feeling 'marginal' but had seen the doctor, so he was on his way.

When he walked in I was speaking with the coffee shop owner, who quickly excused himself as The Mechanic sat down. Again surprised, the guy looked better in person than in his photos - but before I could say anything he started talking. The next three hours I said very little. It was refreshing, considering I'm a yak-your-ears-off kinda gal, and gave me a bit of time to reflect on whether or not I wanted to get to know him better without having to worry about impressing him too much.

Still, I was having a hard time reading the guy. Was he just rattling off his standard stories? He didn't ask me any questions at all during the date, which I found a bit odd. Later, he admitted he was quite a shy man when it came to women, and had been burned numerous times. Since most women were incredibly aggressive with him, he didn't have to do much in the way of showing interest... but that wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted, either.

I left, a bit confused yet still interested in learning more. We parted ways without a handshake or hug, but he did tell me when he was free and that we should go for sushi soon (since that was our initial plan but we got caught up taking so never made it to the restaurant).

Will I see The Mechanic again? I hope so; I'd like to get to know him better without the specter of first date jitters, for starters. I asked him to join me on a walk last night but he declined because his back was still giving him problems. Perhaps later this week we'll get to meet up again.

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