So I worked hard to set a time and place with The Mechanic, a man I've been chatting with for well over six months but haven't been able to meet. When I asked him why that was, he said that my canceling once at the last minute made him think I was trying to blow him off. I assured him it wasn't, so we moved forward from there. Unfortunately, he wasn't able to make the next four dates I'd suggested, and I got the feeling he was trying to pursue things with someone else, so I laid low and didn't bother. Until now.

I suggested several different date times and places, but each one he already had things to do. It came out that my hunch was true; there was a gal pursuing him that lived 4hrs away and was in town visiting for the holidays, and although he assured me he wasn't interested in a long distance thing, he'd still planned to go out with her while she was here. Exasperated, I threw out one final idea. Surprisingly, he accepted. Friday it was, at a local coffee shop.

As the week passed however, he contacted me via MSN to say that he'd thrown out his back and was in massive pain, unsure if he could keep our date. He'd text me beforehand to let me know what happened. Since I'd already planned to be at the coffee shop anyway, I went with a good book and whittled some time away. Fifteen minutes before he was supposed to show up, I got a text message telling me he was feeling 'marginal' but had seen the doctor, so he was on his way.

When he walked in I was speaking with the coffee shop owner, who quickly excused himself as The Mechanic sat down. Again surprised, the guy looked better in person than in his photos - but before I could say anything he started talking. The next three hours I said very little. It was refreshing, considering I'm a yak-your-ears-off kinda gal, and gave me a bit of time to reflect on whether or not I wanted to get to know him better without having to worry about impressing him too much.

Still, I was having a hard time reading the guy. Was he just rattling off his standard stories? He didn't ask me any questions at all during the date, which I found a bit odd. Later, he admitted he was quite a shy man when it came to women, and had been burned numerous times. Since most women were incredibly aggressive with him, he didn't have to do much in the way of showing interest... but that wasn't the kind of relationship he wanted, either.

I left, a bit confused yet still interested in learning more. We parted ways without a handshake or hug, but he did tell me when he was free and that we should go for sushi soon (since that was our initial plan but we got caught up taking so never made it to the restaurant).

Will I see The Mechanic again? I hope so; I'd like to get to know him better without the specter of first date jitters, for starters. I asked him to join me on a walk last night but he declined because his back was still giving him problems. Perhaps later this week we'll get to meet up again.

And what isn't there to like? If a particular chat buddy is in any way literate, the instant gratification is hard to beat. Sure, online its pretty much impossible to create that heady chemistry that makes you swim with desire, but it can get pretty damn close. Ok, so the Ex from Hell was able to do it with me, but that relationship wasn't the healthiest of passions.

So when, two nights in a row, I found myself sans chat buddy, I felt a bit empty and unsure of what to do with myself. Yes I have a stack of fascinating books I've been meaning to devour, and I could quite easily play an hour or two of Final Fantasy 8, my new obsession. But I want to feel attractive, desired and intelligent right NOW! At midnight on a weeknight.

Usually Goblin and I feed our compulsive chat addictions nightly with either a debate about the merits and drawbacks of jumping the Behinder or a circular argument about why him and I aren't dating each other (answer: because I'm still stuck on the Behinder, obviously, and I know Goblin too well to put him in the potential rebound position).

Then there is the Farmer, where up until two days ago we'd been chatting for hours every morning and night about taboo topics such as ex's, diseases of the colon, friends with benefits, and the acceptability of being a carnivore. I've never even met the guy and I realize I miss our unpredictable sittings.

Of course there is the Behinder, with whom I usually shoot the shit with at least once a day depending on his work schedule. Yes, yes. We live mere meters from one another. And when we see each other, invariably one of us has a book or game to share with the other; me some literary smut like Nancy Friday's My Secret Garden, and him Warren Ellis' Transmetropolitan. Behinder however is out of town visiting friends for six days, and although he's occasionally been online, I've chosen the route of space-giver due to our last conversation (And You Say Women Are Confusing?), as well as the fact that I have a sneaky suspicion that part of his visit is to meet up with one of the gals he left me for eight or so months ago. Still, as my sister informed and reminded me just yesterday, I love the guy. Truly, completely, unconditionally - and its obvious. I'm missing him more than the rest combined.

There's also an ex-gf who I'll just refer to as S; we talk once in a while late-night too, but she's now a single mom with a 2-year-old, so I don't see her online as often as I used to. S always gives me perspective while openly sharing her affection for me . S is great for the ego - and yet another reason why I'm so addicted to chat.

I think I'll take a chat break this weekend. More hiking, less computer. Yeah.

He seems like a genuinely nice guy to me. Having said that, I've got red warning bells flashing in my head. Ok, maybe more like yellow ones, and not because I'm meeting him from a dating site. More just.. well.. I can't quite put my finger on it.

Maybe its because he doesn't email more than two sentences at a time. Ever. Or perhaps its that in each of his photos, he looks like a completely different person. I am tempted to ask which photo he looks the most like TODAY, but I haven't wanted to waste his two sentence response. Yet.

And then there's his kid. Which wouldn't be an issue - if the kid were his. Strange, I know. He says he met the child's mother when she was 2 months pregnant, and when they split up almost two years later, she didn't want the little guy. So he took custody.

Admirable, for sure. And I definitely gave him kudos for such a selfless act. But why can't I shake the feeling that there is more to this story? I mean, isn't there always some sort of baby mama drama in these kinds of situations?

Most of the conversations we've had are short and sweet. He's an obvious fan of netspeak (which irks me), and hasn't managed to write more than two lines in reply no matter what the topic of conversation. I get he's a single dad and probably doesn't have a lot of time on his hands to chat though, so I've given him the benefit of the doubt. For now.

All of our "conversations" have happened on OkCupid so far. In one email, he told me that raising his son and watching him grow into a toddler was - literally - better than sex. HUH?!

I wasn't sure how to reply to that one. I mean, I love kids. Really. I adore them. But, I also love sex. Quite a lot. But I've never thought of comparing the two before. Uh... yeah, no.

I basically said just that, after pondering my response for a couple of days. His reply? He hasn't "gotten any" since he had his son, so he was trying to convince himself that caring for a child could replace (or at least make you forget about) physical intimacy with an adult you're romantically involved with.

Hm. I dunno about this guy.