1000 web dates an in-the-trenches view of dating and relationships today

As I Wait For New Year’s…

... I ponder my dating life.

Its been a doozy of a year. Behinder has taken up most of my emotional currency, even after spending more than six months of the year not talking to him. I recently had to eat crow and ask him for help with someTHING only he could do (wow, Freudian misspelling there), and he was more than willing (even eager) to become a part of my life again. Even told me that he felt nothing but "remorse, regret and arousal" for me/the situation. But of course, he's still dating the STD Nurse -- a moniker given because she's a nurse, and she gave him an STD -- the woman who lives three hours away that he left me for. Last we spoke, he asked me what he had to do so we could be friends again, and I advised him at the very least, it was to come completely clean with STD Nurse about my role in his life, and what he did to me. He assured me a month ago, before a three-week long trip to visit said-gal, that he would. Haven't heard boo about the topic since. Methinks he didn't.

Otherwise, I dated a man 11 years my junior for about a month during the summer, but that ended in a blaze of smoke and weirdness. There isn't a nice way to explain why it didn't work out; he's just not a smart man. Which, I've learned, is a mandatory on my itsy bitsy list of must-haves.

I've met four other men this year:

• Better Than Sex Guy, who has full custody of a child that isn't his biological son, and who blew me and all dates off after running into me randomly on the street;
• Goblin, who as per his request I shall not write about other to comment on discussions we've had;
• The Erotica Writer, a military man on medical leave that lives a couple of blocks away. Some potential deal-breakers here, therefore I don't think it'll go anywhere other than friendship;
• Recently Separated Mover, an older gent who contacted me just before moving clear across the country. I felt no attraction towards this man, both when he showed me his photos and when we met, but he seemed to feel differently and would unexpectedly run into me at a regular haunt of mine regularly, until he met a gal closer to him in age that he started dating; and
• The DJ, who told me within 10 minutes of meeting that he thought we'd be "better off as friends with benefits. What do you think?" Its too bad, because he was by far the most interesting of the lot.

I've also chatted with a handful of men this year that I never got the chance to meet:

• Crazy Ass Dude, an out of towner with some serious drug addictions and trust issues. I think he may call me Crazy Ass Chick... I wasn't too nice and called him on his shit, thus blowing up any probability of ever meeting;
• Stu. Couldn't come up with a better handle. We talked on the phone a fair amount earlier in the year, but when he told me a drawn-out story about a woman who'd accused him of raping her (charges were dropped), I took a step back and stopped initiating contact. It seems he did the same;
• Arctic Black, another out of towner who I loved chatting with, but he lived a good four hours away, so it seemed pointless to continue;
• Beaton, an ex from many years ago who got married earlier this year. I introduced him to poly relationships while we were together, and he's now adopted the lifestyle as his own (with his wife's full participation and approval). Later this year he admitted he still had a thing for me, and even though his wife thought he was bonkers for considering it, he "knew" we'd be together again at some point. It's all chat, nothing has happened and I'm doubtful anything ever will, but he's helped me process a lot of relationship crap recently I probably couldn't have otherwise;
• Hamish. He looks an awful lot like Behinder, which I'm ashamed to admit is why I contacted him when I noticed him looking at my online dating profile. We've become fast friends, although he's in a relationship and has been pretty much since we 'met'. Still, the lines are a bit blurry with him, and I have to wonder what would happen if we ever did meet face to face, even though he too lives about three or four hours away.
• The Farmer, another out of towner who has become a favorite chat buddy, but whom I doubt I'll ever meet face to face;
• The Mechanic, who I've been talking with for a couple of months now. Always good for a giggle, I enjoy our chats but haven't been able to nail him down to a time and place to meet. Next week looks promising though... perhaps it'll happen before New Years'. One can hope.

Technorati Tags: artic black, beaton, Behinder, Better Than Sex Guy, crazy ass dude, deal breakers, erotica writer, farmer, Goblin, hamish, mechanic, new years eve, ones who got away, recently seperated mover, single dads, stu, The DJ